Breathing
by Fading Light
Summary: It's a song fic from the Life House song Breathing, it fit Spike very well..I don't like Julia but she'es mentioned a lot!


Disclaimer: I am back, I heard this song and I had to write. It fit Spike and Julia (GRRRRR) so well. I really do not like her but I like the conflict she caused Spike. :B This is a songfic, on the song Breathing by Lifehouse (GET THEIR CD, NO NAME FACE… it's so good.) Anyway, Cbebop and this song do not belong to me. Oh, and please check out my new story in the Fushigi Yuugi called 'A Strange New World' under the genre fantasy! Anyway enjoy! ^_~  
  
  
  
"I've found a long way back to sanity again  
  
Though I don't really know what I'm gonna do  
  
When I get there..."  
  
  
  
Spike inhaled his cigarette looking over at the form that slept beside him with emotionless eyes. Golden hair and a slender build…an angel gone bad.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Take a breath and hold on tight  
  
And spin around one more time  
  
And gracefully fall back to the arms of grace"  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
He knew what he was getting himself into, he knew. Lord, he knew. He turned his head…taking a deep breath and exhaling the smoke that was slowly poisoning his lungs. His heart was already poisoned…because he was in love…with Julia.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Cause I'm hanging on every word you say  
  
And even if you don't wanna speak tonight  
  
That's alright, alright with me  
  
'Cause I want nothing more  
  
Than to sit outside Heaven's door  
  
And listen to you breathing  
  
1 It's where I wanna be, yeah  
  
Where I wanna be..."  
  
  
  
  
  
Spike smirked softly, look what he was getting himself into…all over a woman. A woman…who could be his equal…a woman who made him wonder…a woman…who knew how to love. She didn't deserve a cold lover like Vicious….she deserved…  
  
  
  
"I'm looking past the shadows in my mind  
  
Into the truth and I'm  
  
Trying to identify the voices in my head  
  
God, I wish it were you"  
  
  
  
Spike sat up, breathing hard in his bed. His bare chest glistened with sweat…at night he dreamt and remembered, he always remembered. He looked to the left of his bed…Julia wasn't there. She never was there when he woke up. He held his hands in his head. Julia…  
  
  
  
"Let me feel one more time what it  
  
Feels like to feel and  
  
And break these calluses off of me one more time"  
  
  
  
He wanted her in his arms, right now…he wanted to ask her why. But, he knew why already. Vicious. Damn him to hell. He'd die for taking it all away. For taking away her warm touch, the smell of her hair and the strength…she held…  
  
  
  
  
  
" 'Cause I'm hanging on every word you say  
  
And even if you don't wanna speak tonight  
  
That's alright, alright with me  
  
'Cause I want nothing more  
  
Than to sit outside Heaven's door  
  
And listen to you breathing  
  
It's where I wanna be, yeah  
  
Where I wanna be..."  
  
  
  
Spike remembered, when he had injured himself so badly…he could barely walk. And he found himself at Julia's door, that's when it really began. He hung onto life just listening to her voice singing him to sleep…angel…Spike shut his eyes, laying back down against the pillow. Still, he saw her face and felt her breath on his skin.  
  
  
  
"I don't want a thing from you  
  
I bet you're tired of me  
  
Waiting for the scratch to fall off  
  
Of your table to the ground...  
  
'Cause I just wanna be here now..."  
  
  
  
He'd wait forever if he had to…he'd search forever if it meant feeling her in his arms once more…he was at her mercy. A man on his knees.  
  
"Cause I'm hanging on every word you say  
  
And even if you don't wanna speak tonight  
  
That's alright, alright with me  
  
'Cause I want nothing more  
  
Than to sit outside Heaven's door  
  
And listen to you breathing  
  
It's where I wanna be, yeah..."  
  
  
  
Spike eventually lay down on his side, closing his eyes, the sweat on his body cooling. The memories were so vivid…more vivid than the blood and firing of guns…that's what kept him alive.  
  
  
  
  
  
"'Cause I'm hanging on every word you say  
  
And even if you don't wanna speak tonight  
  
That's alright, alright with me  
  
'Cause I want nothing more  
  
Than to sit outside Heaven's door  
  
And listen to you breathing  
  
It's where I wanna be, yeah  
  
Where I wanna be...  
  
Where I wanna be…"  
  
  
  
The only thing he didn't know…as he fell asleep, was that someone was watching over him…with sharp green eyes….and a heart, that was slowly breaking….over and over.  
  
  
  
  
  
Note: Ta da! I love that song ! Comments…constructive ones please, would be loved!! Please check out Strange New World if you like Fushigi Yuugi! See you space cowboy…  
  
3 Akiko 


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